Lemon-lime Alka-Seltzer tastes like a Mt Dew that’s been left open on the counter for six days.

(Inside.)

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If you’ve been following along, you know that I’ve been trying very hard to create a vacation for myself and yet nothing seems to be going the way I’d like, which doesn’t make my desire to get away subside in any way. For quite some time now, I’ve wanted to run off for a few days to a tropical happyland and just forget about work, bills and adult responsiblity in general and experience what it’s like to reward yourself for getting through years of very hard work and difficult times. Now that I’m at a stable place it feels like the right time. Except that it’s not according to the Universe.

The first one, yes, was way too spontaneous and it was just designed to flop, I know. I make mistakes. The second felt more realistic and it only took about 12 hours to really work myself up into excitement over the possibility of going. The crash from that was pretty bad and it really shouldn’t have been. I mean, really, these are unimportant things that nobody really cares about, why are you getting so worked up? It’s not like you can’t go somewhere else in December, or next spring, or whatever.

After I was done talking out loud to myself I realized I wasn’t actually upset over the trips themselves, but this is how I handle things that disappoint me. They fester, unknown to anyone else, until something is set off and I aim the frustration elsewhere. It is so much easier to bitch openly about these stupid trips than it is to discuss what affects my life. It’s what I do. The breakdown is predictable if you know what you’re looking at.

As it builds, so does my sarcasm, until I can’t even remember how to hold a normal, respectful conversation. The things I tend to whine and bitch about are really so inconsequential that nobody pays attention (which is probably good) but it also drowns out the stuff that matters. Then it’ll reach a point where I lash out on Twitter and probably lose a couple of followers. Still, nothing I’ve said means anything. It’s just what I do.

So, if you’ve had to say something soothing or you’ve thought, “man, she complains a lot,” I apologize. I’ve allowed my own feelings and fears of lonliness and frustration take over the little things. This is particularly irritating to me because in the big picture, I have zero to be complaining about. My job is good and it pays me well, I have no debt, car’s paid off, my credit score is okay, I own my place, have the best family ever, and some very cool friends. This is partially why I don’t open up. I feel ungrateful for the good stuff when I let the bad stuff rule.

This is hard, because I do not like to expose my vulnerability to anyone and I never expected to get overly personal on here, but I have reached a point where I sort of do need an outlet. I’m still not comfortable bringing certain subjects up because nobody needs to be burdened with this stuff, they have their own problems, and I’m just not the “talk about our feelings” kind of gal. Maybe if I were, I would be less bitter.

Even though I’m still not going to talk specifically about these things, I do feel better for having spit all that out, and in the end I did get myself a little bit of a getaway. I’m going to visit some friends in August in Yakima, WA, where I lived for 8 years. It’s no Mexico, but they’re great people. If the three of you who read this made it this far, thank you for reading, and don’t worry… I eventually always get over it. It’s what I do.

I scored a 75% on the “How Minnesotan are you? ” Quizie! What about you?

75%, folks.

2771 people had a score lower than mine.
119 people had a score higher than mine.
70 people had a score the same as mine.

Yeah, I’m late posting this, and I stole it from Erica, but I’m doing it anyway.

1. What was the highlight of your weekend? I finished painting my dining room and found out my cousin had her baby!

2. How often do you get your hair cut? When it was short and I decided to grow it out, every 3 weeks to keep the awkward phases at bay. My last haircut was Tuesday, but I hadn’t been in since last year… sometime around the State Fair.

3. Can you drive a stick shift? Not really. It depends on the car, actually. Some are harder to drive than others.

4. If someone gave you $1,000 to spend on yourself, how would you spend it? Either clothes or decor/furniture.

5. What are you most afraid of? Missing the boat.

6. Do you have any vacations planned for the summer? I would love to vacation somewhere I’ve never been, but I’ll probably have a few weekends up north.

7. What is your non-alcoholic beverage of choice? Sprite w/pink lemonade.

8. What is your favorite kind of cereal? Raisin bran or plain oatmeal with raisins.

9. What color looks best on you? Do you wear it often? I don’t know what looks best, but I wear pink almost every day.

10. Ask me something.

I guess I don’t get advanced notice when my apartment will be shown, despite the form I signed stating that from 4pm to 8am, I need an hour notice. Luckily, I had just finished up posting today’s Overheards, which is the first thing I do when I get home, and hadn’t changed out of my work clothes yet. Otherwise, I’d be chillin’ in my sweats and robe. Awkward.

Forgot to make my bed this morning, and the place is a total wreck from packing it up. Boxes everywhere, packing materials everywhere.

She told them the rent is $10 cheaper than what I pay. Hm.

The big conference room was reserved because many people were expected to join us. Look at how quickly it filled up! It was a rough meeting!

I was going to sit down and write out my “year in review” and highlight (or lowlight) all of the points of interest from 2006. Then I started to think about it, and either I can’t remember most of anything that occured in the last 12 months, or Harry’s move up here and the start of OIM were the only major points of interest the whole year. In fact, it’s the first year in a long time that not much has happened.

I didn’t move.
I’m in the same state I started out the year in.
I didn’t have anything stolen or vandalized.
I didn’t get a promotion. (Technically it’s not a promotion for another 6 months.)
I wasn’t significantly broke or well off.
My relationships and acquaintances have been good people.

Now that I sit here and think of the things that hadn’t happened, I’m starting to remember the stuff that has. For instance, 2006 was the year I became debt free, gained a secondary-ish income, went to my first Rollergirls bout, got the coolest phone ever, and went to the 2nd Annual Zombie Pub Crawl. I guess it was a pretty great year, but I am going to shoot for a totally badass 2007.

Between being extremely lazy, preoccupied with all kinds of stuff, and most of my happenings being very personal, I haven’t “blogged” in a few weeks. It was starting to look a little sad, so I thought I’d pop in for a few random tidbits of goodness!

As of this afternoon, November 22nd, 2006 I am completely debt free! It took almost four years, but I’m back on my feet. It’s an incredible feeling to finally be done paying on my past, so I can now start saving for my future.

That couldn’t have come at a better time really, because today marks the first official day that my little dream started making a little money!

These two happy occasions come right before a four-day holiday vacation.

For the first time in many years, I feel calm and relaxed about my financial situation. It’s always been a stressor, and it will be really great to not have to live paycheck to paycheck anymore. Now that I’m grounded and planting roots here in Minneapolis, it could even mean the possiblity of buying a house in the next couple of years. You only get a handful of moments in your life when you feel like everything is coming together, for the first time or after a setback. Awesome.

This one was started during a meeting, but finished up later, at my desk. It’s not very creative, but that’s all you can really expect of me during at least 9 hours of the day. In case you can’t figure it out, it’s my badge for work. Now, don’t you go stealing it and trying to be me.

In not-too-exciting-for-you news, I was finally moved down to the 5th floor. Fewer Overheards, but more of my sanity.

With the elections over, the commercials have finally stopped. I can’t even tell you what a relief that is. Here’s a related Overheard that I didn’t use, because even though it was funny, the details of who said it, and where it was overheard were not. I prefer actual locations rather than commentary. Not that I don’t appreciate the cynicsm, but let’s keep to the point of “where.” But regardless, here it is:

dumb lazy mom: I’m so sick of all the political ads on tv. I hope they stop before Christmas.

black hole of ignorance
Overheard by wondering if they know what E85 is