I will be 30 in two weeks.

I can’t tell if it’s because I’m just paying more attention or if it’s a weird coincidence, but it seems I get asked how old I am more frequently in recent weeks. The answer is always the same: “I’ll be 30 in X weeks.” The response is also always consistent: “Oh, how do you feel about that?”

How do I feel about that? A lot of people struggle with the milestone birthdays, but we all age at the same rate so I don’t really see the point in worrying about it. Aging can’t be avoided, and pretending it’s not happening only traps you in that awkward “holding on to my youth but it only shows on the outside” phase which is always obvious to everyone but you.

Aside from the plain pointlessness of denying the inevitable, 30 doesn’t “scare” me because I’m holding onto my youth on the inside, and this time of my life has been, so far, the best and most exciting.

Amber recently asked for opinions on the “dilemma” that some single men feel they are faced with.

Mainly, it had to do with the pros and cons of dating a girl under 25 versus over 25. Two main points: Girls under 25 are fun but don’t know what they want, whereas girls over 25 usually know what they want but tend to have a lot of issues, etc.

At 43 comments, there are some really good opinions on the subject, and one in particular that I identify with completely:

It’s too bad young people think this way. At thirty five, I feel saner than I ever have. I am in tune with my instincts, my sexuality, and I have a better understanding about what I desire for my future. Because of this, I am more direct and honest in my relationships. [...]

Oh yeah, I’m also financially independent. Take that bitches!

Replace 35 with 30 and I could have said these same things, even though it took me a long time to get here. Everyone has their issues, but the older you get, the more prepared you are to deal with the curve balls, and the more time you’ve had to work out the issues picked up in your teens and early twenties. Your friends are aging and maturing right along with you, and it always helps having a solid support system.

30 years, three cross country moves, finding myself, new friends, old friends, losing friends, losing myself, several unsatisfying jobs, a divorce, success with OIM, more new friends, finding myself again, home ownership, success with love, peace with myself.

Photo credits: Coco & Aaron.

These days? My time is consumed with Association matters. I’d love to blog more specifically about it but I probably won’t until it’s all over. I just don’t know how that could affect things from a legal standpoint.

And since I haven’t really being doing much of anything else, here’s some stuff that’s cool.

Jet Pack Tour: Bemidji - lol How hilarious are Bunny and Coco? It’s jump pictures from here on out for me! Too awesome.

Photoshop Disasters - That pretty much describes it. It’s a good way to lose an afternoon.

Ant Eater - You do what you gotta do for love, sometimes it’s really stupid. And gross.

Solitaire Scrabulous - Yeah, yeah, yeah I am late to the Scrabble train, as usual, but I am loving it.

I’ve decided that the tattoo on my back is no longer relevant and it’ll be covered up this afternoon. I have chosen three brightly colored Gerbera Daisies. If I told you that over the phone, you might think I said three Gerber Babies and freak out because of the creepy image of three floating baby heads that might be looking back at you one day.

The plan was to upload some of the most wonderful pictures I have taken over the last few days, but unfortunately, I cannot locate a free Wi-Fi spot in Yakima, and I am not paying $10 to connect at Starbucks again. Screw that shit.

Oh, how I miss Minnesota and its Wi-Fi hot spots a-plenty. I miss having all of my saved websites and the saved passwords and cookies that I no longer take for granted. It was a chore just to remember how to get logged into my Movable Type from a different computer.

And yes, I miss you, too.

I will be out of town from the 10th to the 18th, so you won’t see much action here, if at all, until I come back. I know you’re all going to miss me terribly, but calm down, it’s not the end of the world.

It must be “Bring Your Kid To Work” week, because I’m sitting across from the 4th child under the age of 10 this week to be spending an entire day in the office. I certainly cannot think of any better way to spend a day of summer vacation when the weather is beautiful than to hang out with Aunt/Mom/Grandma in the gray on gray cube farm that is the state government office environment. If I were a 9 year old, I would stare longingly out my window, hoping that I’d be so lucky enough to eavesdrop on conversations about health care while occupying one of the most uncomfortable chairs that man ever dared to create, all the while playing Solitaire repeatedly.

The young lady across the way has made her billionth phone call ($$) from the cube of a vacationing co-worker. Listening to, “Hi mommy, how are you?” every twenty minutes is almost as rad as hearing, “Hey Grandma!” twice a day from the grown man who sits behind me.

I am not complaining, though. The cafe downstairs has delicious oatmeal.

A thousand apologies go out to Jen and Alie for walking out on my bar tab last night like a total douche. My absent mindedness continues to go unchecked. I will so be picking up next Wednesday’s beer tab.

Don’t worry, I won’t be blogging every day about smoking, just on the days it’s especially hard. It helps me because I can bitch about it. It helps you because I’m not bitching directly at you. Yesterday was something special because of everything else my body was putting me through. Today is extra, extra special because I forgot to slap on a patch before heading for work. Yeah. Dumb.

I quit a couple years ago, completely cold turkey. There were very little withdrawals, no major cravings and I didn’t use any type of substitute. I just quit. It worked, for over a year, until I moved down to the 5th floor among my smoking co-workers and I decided that if I stepped out occasionally with them it’d be no big deal, despite knowing that history would inevitably repeat itself. I got too confident in my ability to stay mostly a non-smoker. But, up until that lapse in judgment everything was fine. Why is it different now? Why is today so flipping hard? I really need to eat something.

Taylor told me I should give this live blogging thing a try because it was just so much fun. I don’t believe him, but here’s my contribution anyway. I will be live blogging Day 3 of my Stop Smoking campaign. Why? Because I’m at work today and weekdays will prove to the roughest in my quest to avoid cancer. I need this for entertainment.

0831: The usual suspects just went out for a smoke. Boss says, “I’ll miss you, darling.” I have coffee.

0912: I appear to be constipated. Neat. I still have coffee.

0921: Announced to Twitter followers of my predicament. That felt good.

0953: The hunger kicks in. Hard. Not usually wanting food until lunchtime, but the tummy is very angry.

1055: Thinking about the dreams I had last night. Received bill in the mail for $90.81 from cable company for PORN. Opened bill in front of co-workers. Pointing and laughing ensued. Later, a woman who tried to contact me through work email finally got fed up with my non responsiveness and showed up at my house. Insisted she come inside. Took over my laptop while I did laundry. Tried to sleep on the couch while the nosey wanker went through my Pictures folder. Later again, there was a car chase, but I only remember it was scary. Woke up thinking I was sleeping on top of the PORN bill. Sighs of major relief. Wait, I don’t order PORN, why would I be relieved? Slept with the nic patch on and that’s usually not recommended for those exact reasons.

1120: Going to lunch to maybe fill some of the void.

1229: Weird Buffalo Chicken Salad for lunch from cafeteria downstairs. Probably won’t do that a second time. But I am now confident in my ability to poop later. Hey, aren’t you glad you came here today?

1245: Now with the heartburn which I can only assume is from the salad. Today really sucks.

1255: Also remembered dream that I woke up and it was 2:30 in the afternoon. Panicked for being late to work. Or rather, missing the entire day. Woke up for real in just as much panic until realizing it was 4:18am.

1354: Going home for the day. Feeling really awful with everything happening to my body all at once. Nap time.

1523: Glad to be home and on my couch. Being here takes a lot of focus off wanting to smoke. In fact, I hadn’t even thought about it until I started to write that. So, work will be the big hurdle, but I think it’ll be less agonizing when I’m actually feeling well. Thus concludes today’s live blogging session. I bet you’re happy!

I was somewhat surprised to learn that the Nicoderm patches were less expensive than the last time I purchased them. Two or three years ago they were around $50 for the first week’s worth, if I remember correctly. This go-round they were $40 for two weeks worth. Not sure what the change is, but I also don’t remember them not sticking so well. My first patch fell off not long after I applied it, and I still haven’t been able to find it. So, I pulled out a second one and it had to be reinforced with some Scotch tape for a while to stay on. Sexy. Third time’s the charm, though, and it appears to be staying in place. But it’s working extremely well. The habit to reach for one in the morning or after a drink remains, but the desire is nonexistent. Hope it keeps up.

Just in case I have a craving, I have attached a list of reasons why I shouldn’t smoke to my refrigerator to look at every morning and feel inspired. 101 of them. They’re quality and I will share a few with you today.

#16. I’ll be able to smell. Smell like what?
#19. I’ll get fewer glares. I think the glares are more related to my potty mouth and inability to control the volume of my voice after 2 beers.
#20. I’ll save $2. Time to upgrade your incentives.
#25. I’ll grin at No Smoking signs. I did anyway, while smoking in front of them.
#36. Cigarette machines eat my change. Wait, they still make those?
#37. I hate convenience stores. If it weren’t for convenience stores, sometimes I wouldn’t eat.
#38. The only stroke I want is a hole-in-one. teehee
#51. My hands can learn other activities. I’m going to take up the banjo.
#61. The glamour is gone. Nothing more glamourous than #57-59 hacking, wheezing and gasping.
#66. I’ll get more kisses. Yay!
#77. I’m tired of smoking alone. That’s why I try to convert my friends.
#85. I’m getting wiser. You do not know me, do you?
#90. Co-workers will applaud. They’re the main reason I smoked!
#96. When the smoke clears, the facts are clear. Wait, what?
#100. There are no ifs, ands or butts. heh, you said butts.
#101. It’s never too late to quit. Well… that’s not entirely true.

(”I won’t smoke today because…. copyright Journeyman Publishing, 1994.”)

I said the patch was working on the cravings, but that doesn’t mean I’m not becoming a little surly.