Taylor told me I should give this live blogging thing a try because it was just so much fun. I don’t believe him, but here’s my contribution anyway. I will be live blogging Day 3 of my Stop Smoking campaign. Why? Because I’m at work today and weekdays will prove to the roughest in my quest to avoid cancer. I need this for entertainment.

0831: The usual suspects just went out for a smoke. Boss says, “I’ll miss you, darling.” I have coffee.

0912: I appear to be constipated. Neat. I still have coffee.

0921: Announced to Twitter followers of my predicament. That felt good.

0953: The hunger kicks in. Hard. Not usually wanting food until lunchtime, but the tummy is very angry.

1055: Thinking about the dreams I had last night. Received bill in the mail for $90.81 from cable company for PORN. Opened bill in front of co-workers. Pointing and laughing ensued. Later, a woman who tried to contact me through work email finally got fed up with my non responsiveness and showed up at my house. Insisted she come inside. Took over my laptop while I did laundry. Tried to sleep on the couch while the nosey wanker went through my Pictures folder. Later again, there was a car chase, but I only remember it was scary. Woke up thinking I was sleeping on top of the PORN bill. Sighs of major relief. Wait, I don’t order PORN, why would I be relieved? Slept with the nic patch on and that’s usually not recommended for those exact reasons.

1120: Going to lunch to maybe fill some of the void.

1229: Weird Buffalo Chicken Salad for lunch from cafeteria downstairs. Probably won’t do that a second time. But I am now confident in my ability to poop later. Hey, aren’t you glad you came here today?

1245: Now with the heartburn which I can only assume is from the salad. Today really sucks.

1255: Also remembered dream that I woke up and it was 2:30 in the afternoon. Panicked for being late to work. Or rather, missing the entire day. Woke up for real in just as much panic until realizing it was 4:18am.

1354: Going home for the day. Feeling really awful with everything happening to my body all at once. Nap time.

1523: Glad to be home and on my couch. Being here takes a lot of focus off wanting to smoke. In fact, I hadn’t even thought about it until I started to write that. So, work will be the big hurdle, but I think it’ll be less agonizing when I’m actually feeling well. Thus concludes today’s live blogging session. I bet you’re happy!