My friend Nikki is a self proclaimed “moron magnet.” To prove it, she copy/pasted a “poem” she received from a man on MySpace who claims he has been a “peot [sic] for many years.”

UR SMILE IS SO BEAUTIFUL IT MAKE ME SMILE FOR JOY UR BEAUTY IS SO WONDERFUL IT BEYOND BELIEF

Luckily for you, it gets so much better. To get the full on experience of this romantic guy with a poetic soul, please check out his MySpace Page. It starts with how good his personalized URL is: YukonDan71. Excellent. Then the assault of the busiest Dallas Cowboys wallpaper known to man accompanied with a completely illegible font color. You may have to highlight to read. That is, if it doesn’t induce a seizure first. Scanning the page you quickly realize he seems to prefer every spelling of the words poet, poetry and poem except for the correct ones.

The spelling errors make it really difficult to read, but not as difficult as the concrete wall of code that he has completely jacked his profile with. I’m not sure how he hasn’t noticed this.

And since most of you are probably cooler than I am and do not have a MySpace page, here is the big version of his picture. In case you’re not sure what you’re looking at, he is cautious to caption it with “this is my beer hat.” I added the period for punctuation correctness.

If that guy does not have the soul of a “peot” I don’t know who does.

It’s also important to mention that she was recently told by another guy that his chest hair was shaved into the shape of a crow, in honor of his favorite movie. Can you guess what that was? Attempts to obtain pictures for posting failed, so you will have to use your imagination.

I thank Nikki for taking one many for the team for my amusement. I look forward to chronicalling her adventures more often.