Will this go on my permanent record?

Today, I received the silliest and weakest form of “hate” mail. Actually, calling it hate mail is too dramatic. It’s more like “I kind of don’t like you” mail.

From Bethany Wiseman of …I don’t know, somewhere where there isn’t enough to do:

I’m not sure if you were going for irony, but if you were, it was lost on me. What am I talking about? This: “Your Futures, In His Hands.” Perhaps you meant “Your Future is in His Hands,” or “Your Future, His Hands,” or even a “Your Futures, His Hands” would be acceptable. I reported you to the grammar police on facebook. We’ve mocked you plenty. I’m positive somebody over there at overheard has an FB account so check it out: http://minnesota.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=31105683&id=199100056&ref=nf . If for some reason the link doesn’t work, search for the group “I judge you when you use poor grammar.” Once there, browse photos until you find the overheard picture. Have a good day! =)

Clearly, I should be afraid. The grammar police on Facebook aren’t to be toyed with. Okay, that was sarcasm. Actually, Facebook sucks. If you take the internets.com seriously, you’d be on MySpace. Otherwise, I am just not listening.

When I first read this, I thought she was being funny. “We’ve mocked you plenty.” That’s comedy right there! Then I realized she was serious. She really wanted to let me know that she mocks me. On the internet. For grammar. The ending of the email indicates to me that she really, honest-to-goodness felt she told me good. (see, I can do shitty grammar on this site, too!)

In reality, nobody who posts on the internet lets grammar take a back seat, so after my full belly laugh dried up, I started to feel bad. Especially since I’m being mocked on the internet. I might cry.

Later that day…
In a second response from her, she told me she mostly just wanted me to fix it so I wouldn’t look foolish any longer.

All sarcasm aside now. I’m well aware of the grammatical imperfection of that headline. It’s a headline, not a sentence. A bunch of people sat around all day mocking this one headline on Facebook. Trust me, Bethany, I am not the one who feels foolish about this. I do hope you accept my correction though. I’d be sad to disappoint you again.